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You Spent How Much on Your F*#k!ng Jeans!?!

How to buy raw denim - Iron Heart jeans

Talk Your Girlfriend off the Ledge With This Essential Guide to Buying and Washing Raw Denim Jeans

Premium raw denim can be quite an investment. That’s why you need to take proper care of the $350 raw denim jeans your girlfriend just said you were an idiot for purchasing.

Below is a Q&A session with a highly qualified and fairly intense denim expert who has chosen to remain anonymous.

Discussed are the different types of raw denim, what will work best for you, and how to keep your denim healthy and looking great for many years.

This will, hopefully, serve as a beginner’s guide to raw denim; specifically how you buy and wash your first pair of raw denim jeans.

Why Are These Raw Denim Jeans So Expensive?

Customer: My girlfriend won’t stop yelling at me. She said $350 was too much to spend on a pair of jeans. What do I do?

Expert: This is one of our most common questions. Let’s look at it this way: high quality denim made by companies such as Roy, Iron Heart, The Flat Head, The Strike Gold, Real Japan Blues, and many others are meticulously crafted and made to last much longer than your average pair of Levi’s, G-Star or Lucky Brand.

Since jeans are a guy’s most commonly worn article of clothing, these denim companies go to great lengths using the finest materials and machines to help ensure a long life complete with unique and beautiful fades. The value attributed is similar to the purse or heels she spent the same amount of money on.

So next time she brings it up just yell “OH YEAH?! TELL THAT TO YOUR CHANEL BAG!” and then run away.

Customer: I just told her what you said about them being well crafted and she responded with “$50 Levis look well crafted to me.”

Expert: Just yell the Chanel thing and see what happens.

Customer: That did not go well. I’ve been hiding in my car for about a half hour now. Running was harder than I thought it would be, by the way. These jeans are so stiff. I think my knee is bleeding. What the hell?

Expert: Don’t worry, the more you run away from your problems the quicker your denim will stretch and soften. Insiders call it ‘The Forrest Gump Effect.’

On the next page, you’ll learn how to explain to your girl just what raw denim is

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6 comments

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magma February 4, 2015 at 12:13

Raw denim tends to develop crotch blows, never really had that problem with normal levis.

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evie March 14, 2015 at 20:59

this is an amazing article, please continue writing for denimhunters!

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SP May 13, 2015 at 14:14

Man, women sure are dumb, aren’t they? Do you think girls are even capable of understanding concepts this complex? I doubt it. Thanks for trying, but women are just too stupid to grasp the fundamentals of economics, so the best advice is to just buy her something expensive that will shut her up. ***FARTNOISE***

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Robin July 7, 2015 at 12:29

I just decided to leave this stupid ass, chauvinistic denim blog once and for all. please let your opinions aside cause, to be quite honest, people look up to you and you have a fucking responsability towards your readers. this is the dumbest shit I’ve read in a while, and I’ve read some dumb shit. Denim culture is not about manhood.

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gateio June 1, 2023 at 04:27

I may need your help. I tried many ways but couldn’t solve it, but after reading your article, I think you have a way to help me. I’m looking forward for your reply. Thanks.

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20bet September 13, 2023 at 05:03

Your article gave me a lot of inspiration, I hope you can explain your point of view in more detail, because I have some doubts, thank you.

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