You Spent How Much on Your F*#k!ng Jeans!?!

 In Apparel

Talk Your Girlfriend off the Ledge With This Essential Guide to Buying and Washing Raw Denim Jeans

Premium raw denim can be quite an investment. That’s why you need to take proper care of the $350 raw denim jeans your girlfriend just said you were an idiot for purchasing.

Below is a Q&A session with a highly qualified and fairly intense denim expert who has chosen to remain anonymous.

Discussed are the different types of raw denim, what will work best for you, and how to keep your denim healthy and looking great for many years.

This will, hopefully, serve as a beginner’s guide to raw denim; specifically how you buy and wash your first pair of raw denim jeans.

Why Are These Raw Denim Jeans So Expensive?

Customer: My girlfriend won’t stop yelling at me. She said $350 was too much to spend on a pair of jeans. What do I do?

Expert: This is one of our most common questions. Let’s look at it this way: high quality denim made by companies such as Roy, Iron Heart, The Flat Head, The Strike Gold, Real Japan Blues, and many others are meticulously crafted and made to last much longer than your average pair of Levi’s, G-Star or Lucky Brand.

Since jeans are a guy’s most commonly worn article of clothing, these denim companies go to great lengths using the finest materials and machines to help ensure a long life complete with unique and beautiful fades. The value attributed is similar to the purse or heels she spent the same amount of money on.

So next time she brings it up just yell “OH YEAH?! TELL THAT TO YOUR CHANEL BAG!” and then run away.

Customer: I just told her what you said about them being well crafted and she responded with “$50 Levis look well crafted to me.”

Expert: Just yell the Chanel thing and see what happens.

Customer: That did not go well. I’ve been hiding in my car for about a half hour now. Running was harder than I thought it would be, by the way. These jeans are so stiff. I think my knee is bleeding. What the hell?

Expert: Don’t worry, the more you run away from your problems the quicker your denim will stretch and soften. Insiders call it ‘The Forrest Gump Effect.’

On the next page, you’ll learn how to explain to your girl just what raw denim is

More Good Reads

Start typing and press Enter to search

G-Star 9-year-old US Lumber selvedge jeans